This post may contain affiliate links which means I make a small commission if you click on any external links and make a purchase. For more information, visit my Legal Stuff page. I value your support and always promise to prioritize my honest opinion over any monetary gains..

My old concept of holding myself accountable usually had me laying in bed at 3 am dwelling on something I said 20 years ago. But that’s not really holding myself accountable… that’s just self-torture. However, as I’ve come to know, live and manifest with the Law of Attraction, I found a way to hold yourself accountable for your actions without tormenting yourself for your every word you said.

An an INFJ, I’m obsessive. I’m an empath, an introvert and an automatic dweller. I can worry about the smallest thing I’ve done or said… and spiral into a whole alternate Universe in my head where I’ve ruined someone’s life or made someone hate me.

This is really something I’ve had to get under control in order to better myself. I want to make sure that I hold myself accountable for my actions and the words I speak…. but I can’t spend my life worrying like I have in the past.

Why You Shouldn’t Dwell

I always thought that in order to hold yourself accountable for your actions, you have to re-live every action. Like I said, this usually forced me into such a negative spiral. I would feel awful about my day even if I had an amazing day….

The example that’s still fresh on my mind was back when I was working dispatch. There was a horrible domestic situation at a known drug house. My 911 caller was a pre-teen that was hiding their younger sister and cousin in the back of a closet to keep safe.

We got police dispatched quickly, everyone walked away safely and the kids went into DFCS custody. It couldn’t have been resolved more smoothly.

Well…. this call haunted my every thought for about a month.

I just assumed that I was speaking to a girl by their voice. Wrong. I was talking to a young boy. I called him sweetie and darling trying to calm him down… only to feel like a real jackass once I finally got a second to ask his name.

Did I do anything wrong? Technically no. I mean… I made an assumption and made an ass out of me… but other than that… I did my job. Everyone was safe. The kid probably didn’t seem to notice I thought he was a girl…. and aside from that going to court, no one would ever know…. but I did.

Dwelling, worrying, fretting, regretting….. It’s just harmful, toxic and counterproductive. Dwelling on things, whether big or small, is never going to help you become a better person.

Take note of the situation that makes you want to dwell, learn your lesson and walk forward.

Whether you’re dwelling over a car accident because you were distracted by your cell phone…. or you said ‘you too‘ when someone says “Happy Birthday”…..

I think we ALL look like this when we say ‘you too’ back to something dumb…

But just don’t dwell. If you want to be truly accountable for the actions that matter, you can’t waste time dwelling over the moments that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

Hold Yourself Accountable For Your Actions In A Positive Way

The more I learn about the Law of Attraction, the more I realize that everything is about keeping your mind steady.

Keeping your goals in plain sight and always keeping your blessings close to your heart.

So, I came up with the idea of the ‘Week-End Check In’. It started just a loose ‘ritual’ that I did to keep my mind healthy. I would take time for myself every Friday after my work and chores were all done and I had time to focus without interruption.

I use these points to re-align my mind, actions and emotions with how I intended to interact with the world. Doing this every Friday gives me a regroup or reset before the weekend.

Re-Evaluate Your Intentions

The first step is always to check in with yourself: what are your actual intentions? You need to be 1000% firm in your answer of your genuine, deep-seated goals and dreams. What do you want out of life?

I do this every Friday because they do change weekly. Goals and wants can change for a ton of different reasons. Your mental state matures, events and circumstances change… it’s okay for your intentions of life to change as long as you are aware of the change and don’t continue to walk down the old path leading to the old dreams.

For example: My amazing week started out by spending some time with one of my best friends on Monday. I hadn’t seen her in a while, but it really just hit me how important it was for me to have her in my life. She is my person and it always nurtures my soul to be around her. So I added a new goal or intention this week. I intend to spend more time with people who inspire me rather than expire me.

With these set intentions, we need to decide if the actions we took and emotions we felt actually get us closer to these goals.


Your Week-End Check-In won’t work unless you reach deeeeeeep down and grab a hold of your emotions.

Your emotions affect your actions. They also measure the result of your actions in the past.

You have to be able to hold yourself accountable for your actions but still be able to turn off the negative thoughts for things that didn't go as planned.

If you are sad and unmotivated, you will be less likely to take steps in the right path. What made you feel these negative, oppressive emotions? What can you do to eliminate these feelings right now?

If you are feeling strong and positive, you are more likely to make that move towards your goals. What made you feel empowered and great? Do more of that!

Teach yourself to be aware of your emotions and get them in check before you act on them.

For example: This week, I was inspired, uplifted, and empowered. I came up with a few new ideas for my blog and blogging community. I had an idea pop into my brain, I was in a good place emotionally, so I just went with it! The emotions that lead me to take those actions were positive and they moved me in the right direction… and as a result, I was proud of the outcome!!

I did have a few negative emotions about finances and a tiff with Hunter’s old boss. Instead of making some rash action to cuss someone out or react out of passion…. I broke the problem down into parts and decided how my reaction to each situation would make me feel.

You cannot change every situation, but you can change your re-action based on your emotions to have a more desirable result from every situation.

Analyze Your Actions

Did you act in accordance with your goals? Or did your emotions rule your actions?

If your intention is to start being healthier, did you eat healthier? Did you work out? Did you drink more water?

If your intention is to get a raise or promotion, did you act in a way that is worthy of advancing your career? Did you go above and beyond?

If you want to be happier in your relationship with your significant other, did you try to nurture their needs? Did you communicate openly with them so they have a chance to respond in a positive way?

Look at your actions and see how your own actions or re-actions to each situation affected your emotions.

Feeling bad that you skipped the gym one day won’t help you one bit! Just promise yourself that you will do better next week.

Create lessons from your actions or failure to act and make changes rather than beating yourself up.

The purpose of the Week-End Check-In is to create a refreshed, renewed you to start the weekend off right. Not to start your weekend with sadness or frustration.

So if you find yourself beating yourself up about something that didn’t go right, counter it with something positive.

Did you get a little short with the kids when they were acting up in the car? It’s okay. They really enjoyed the afternoon with you at the park. Set it in your mind to have more moments this weekend that make you feel like you did at the park than you felt in the car.

Reset or Resume

This quickly became my favorite part of my Week-End Check-In. It’s empowering and healing for your mind and soul.

After you create your list about your intentions and your actions & emotions… it probably be pretty obvious if you need to reset your week or not.

Regardless of how rough your week was, there is hope.

Choose To Have A Better Weekend

As you touch base with your emotions and actions, ask yourself “Was I way off course this week? Was I feeling bad for myself or carry negative energy? Did my actions stray from what I wanted as an end result?”

If you answered those with “Yes’, it’s time to reset.

Breathe. Let this week go. Forgive yourself for any missteps you took from your intended journey. Learn from every actions and emotion. Forgive anyone else for their wrongdoings that may have made your week less than pleasant. Write down any unpleasant unfinished business and vow yourself to not let it cross your mind until Monday morning. Release this week.

By the time you go to bed Friday night, you can have a complete 180 degree change in thought. You may have started the day stubbing your toe, spilling your coffe and dreading work… but your weekend can still be a glorious mini-vacation (yes, even if you work weekends).

You are the only person who can change your mind.

Continue Your Week Into The Weekend

If you had a generally good week, but had a few hiccups: it’s okay! Just make your adjustments and carry the good from your week into the weekend- no one is perfect! Allow yourself to brush things off.

Got a little snippy with hubby one day? Dig deep to find out what it was that made you act that way. If it’s something you need to change, make that change. If it’s something you need from him, tell him.

If you feel good about your Week-End Check-In, wear it like a badge of honor. Carry those feelings of positivity and excitement into the weekend. Go to bed filled with gratitude that you were able to live this glorious day and also excitement that you get the chance to do it again tomorrow.

Self Care

Self care is so insanely important. Don’t skip it!

Whether it’s just a mental pat on the back for a great week…. or a hot bath to help you melt off the week that didn’t go as planned.

Either way, you need to set that time aside to make sure that you get the attention you deserve from yourself.

I know we’re all pressed for time. Jobs, second jobs, families, kids, obligations, bills… Sometimes self care seems like the very last thing we can fit into our schedule. But just keep in mind: none of that gets done or handled if you, yourself, are not well.

You deserve that moment of self care to cherish yourself. Even if you had the worst week ever, you should take this time to build yourself back up.

Remind yourself that you are deserving of the success that you’re chasing after. You are worth so much. You will be rewarded for all that you do.

Never let yourself fall out of love with yourself.

Start Reflecting

Your Week-End Check-In can be however you want it to be.

Prefer to write it down? Great! Grab a pen and paper and go to town!

Like to reflect and meditate? Awesome! Go find you a quiet place and let your brain Check In.

I created a few guides to help you through your Week-End Check-In, but do whatever helps you become a happier, more enlightened and empowered person.

Let me know how you hold yourself accountable for your actions and dreams! I’d love to hear from you!


Share us with your friends and add us to your feeds!

I'm an INFJ- so I'm a walking contradiction with ADD and a heart the size of Texas. I live my life by the Law of Attraction and I love helping other people find inner peace.


  • Shellie Bolyard

    I love the idea of a weekly check-in. I am always thinking of ways to use my planner and journal more creatively (let’s be honest, most days I need to just remember to USE them). So, when I do remember to use them, I like the idea of adding a weekly check-in. There is so much power that comes out of awareness. Thank you for sharing.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      I love my planner too! Honestly if I didn’t get to excited about using my highlighters and cute stickers, I’d never use it 🤣 it’s a freeing feeling to just check in with yourself. Let’s you pull all the emotions to the foreground and decide if they are worth your time. I’m so glad you enjoyed this! It has been my favorite thing for a while! I do my check ins with my newsletter group and we all kinda weigh in on each other. Like having a mini cheer squad! 😂

  • cath

    You are so similar to me it’s unreal! I love this idea though and I’m going to take it on board. Thanks lovely 💙❤️

    • BarbedWireandLace

      We are SO alike! I’m glad you like this idea! I’m working on making more visuals and graphics to help make sure you’re on track! I’ll let you know when they’re in the freebie vault! ❤️

  • Andrea McCoy

    I enjoy your writing style. You are so thoughtful and informative. I don’t think I am an INFJ but I do remember stupid stuff I say forever and then often reflect on it and think of the horror that I said it. I know that most people have forgotten the things that come out of my mouth a long time ago but its still so hard for me to move past it.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Thank you, Andrea! That means SO much to me! You need to take the MBTI personality test! It’s crazy cool to find out your personality type.

      Overthinking and deep reflection on conversations isn’t only an INFJ thing, so see what you are!

      It’s crazy how much my brain will loop the silly things I said…. for a loooong time. Like you said, the other person probably forgot…. but I can somehow recall every word I said. It usually pops into my twisty brain right as I’m laying down for bed or sitting down to write… I wonder what that phenomenon is called haha

  • Naomi Nakashima

    Self care is so important, and yet so often forgotten or dismissed. The weekly checkin to catch up and reflect is a perfect way to make sure you always take at least a small break for yourself. Thank you for posting this.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Thank you for reading! I’m so glad that you enjoyed it! The weekly check-in is such a powerful tool for making sure you’re staying on focus with your goals! Plus, it’s really fun to reflect on your week when your week has been a good one!

Tell me what you're thinking....


Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

%d bloggers like this: