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The past year has been the most empowering, happy year of my life. Maybe it’s just cause wisdom comes with age or because life has just been kind to me. I credit a lot of it to the fact that I learned two very important things: I am an INFJ and I learned the secret to success for the INFJ personality type: the Law of Attraction.

Like I said, this year has been incredible. I’m in a healthy relationship with the man of my dreams, I have a beautiful home in a community I love, I’m healthy and so is my family. I literally live the life of my dreams… but I don’t think it’s any kind of a coincidence.

I think it’s only fair to share the secret that I learned that made my life easier as an INFJ….. and just a happier person in general.

A Life-Changing Discovery

About a year ago, my Godmother came over to do some crafts with me and just have some girl time.

She asked if we could make a decal for her Yeti tumbler that said ‘It’s just an INFP thing you wouldn’t understand‘.



I had no clue what she was talking about… but being the typical INFP that she is…. she insisted that I take the Meyers-Briggs personality test.

I always knew I was different, so it was no shock to find out that I was an INFJ: the rarest of all personality types.

The Only Label I’ve Ever Liked

The 16Personalitites Website itself says ‘It is so good to be understood‘… and I think it’s truly an understatement.

It’s freeing and empowering to finally be understood.

To know that other people experience life like I do. To know I’m not alone like I have felt my entire life. That I’m not some weird, over-thinking emotional mess with an obsession problem or weird reclusive ways.

Learning that I was an INFJ made me feel healthy, safe, complete.

I’m not weird… I’m just rare.

“INFJs are quiet and mystical yet very inspiring and tireless idealists.”

Before I go any further I want to apologize if I kinda speak about INFJ-isms like they’re scientific fact.

Like a true INFJ, I have obsessed over being an INFJ. Meeting other INFJs, reading INFJ blogs, reading studies about INFJ people….

I have INFJ-isms for days….so just bear with me. If you’re an INFJ, make sure drop your favorite ism in the comments!!!

An INFJ’s Purpose

The first INFJ-ism is about finding my purpose. I think most INFJs struggle with this as well.

Because we are continual thinkers, we have explored every single thought from “Why do men have nipples?” to “What is my purpose for being alive?“.

I catch myself drifting off while looking at the stars. If the Universe is so large and I am so small, what is my purpose for existence? If I truly have a purpose in life, is it my own to decide or has it been decided for me?

Well, as you read on and begin to understand a little more, you’ll come to see why the Law of Attraction can be so helpful for an INFJ. It helps you grow, helps you understand life and most importantly, it will help you find your purpose.

I’ve come to learn that my purpose is to be as happy and joyous as my little heart can stand. I am here to love everyone I meet, share joy and encourage people to live their best lives. I am on this Earth as a small but powerful link of a chain of positivity.

True & Lasting Success For The INFJ Personality Type

I won’t go too deep into the concepts of the Law of Attraction in this post. You can read my in-depth post about the Law of Attraction and watch the movie ‘The Secret‘ if you’re interested in learning the concepts and how to begin using it.

I am just introducing you to the concept and explaining why I feel like it’s the perfect life practice for INFJs.

Basically, the Law of Attraction is practicing mindfulness and harnessing the power of your mind.

Whatever you can conceive and believe, you will achieve.

It’s about focusing on gratitude, positivity and excitement for life. It’s about taking control of your thoughts and changing from automatic thinking to intentional thought.

If you’re an INFJ, you’re probably looking at this like a very daunting practice, but it’s not.

Harnessing your mind’s power is actually probably easier for INFJs than any other personality type.

I’m going to share with you the INFJ-isms that may make us more capable of manifesting the life of our dreams…. and how it might be exactly what you’ve been searching for.

Obsession & Knowledge

I think that the Law of Attraction is the secret to success for the INFJ personality type because INFJs are notoriously obsessive.

We get ‘hooked on something’ and it’s all we think about.

I go on little kicks where I obsess about things. Nail dip manicures, essential oils, woodworking, home decor…. I find something and I am 110% about that something. I learn all there is to learn and become a pro.

Which is great for the Law of Attraction because the more videos you watch and the more you read about it, the more you will be able to re-train your mind and manifest what you want out of life.

It’s like the more we know, the more curious we are. The more curious we are, the more we seek answers. The more answers we find, the more energy we devote to something.

So, yes, I have an obsession with the Law of Attraction. I have watched hundreds of hours of videos and movies, I’ve read countless books and blogs. I’ve devoted a lot of my own blog to the Law of Attraction and I try to share it with anyone I know. I have Gratitude journals galore, vision boards, jewelry with mantras and even a very special gratitude rock.

While many people will poke fun at an INFJ for their obsession, this is one way that our obsession can benefit us beyond our wildest dreams.

Repetitive Thoughts

Along with obsession, we’re pretty well known for our repetitive thoughts and our never-quiet brains.

A quiet moment with an INFJ is never truly quiet.

We’re mentally re-living our day, thinking about philosophical shit, annoying ourselves by singing the world’s worst song over and over in our heads.

Don’t act like you don’t torture yourself with Rebecca Black’s Friday or ‘Baby’ by Justin Beiber. Only to catch yourself saying ‘stop it’ like you’re talking to another person….

So… can you imagine if you shifted your automatic repetitive thoughts to be (mostly) intentional thoughts?

Success for the INFJ personality type means using our minds as powerful magnets to manifest our dreams with the Law of Attraction.

Rather than dwelling on embarrassing crap you said in the 4th grade…. focus on how happy you are to be alive?

If you shifted your focus from feeling alone to being grateful that you’re comfortable enough with yourself to be alone?

As an INFJ, you dwell, worry, internalize, criticize…. your brain can create 40,000 scenarios for how something can turn out.

But what if instead of wasting time worrying about the ‘what ifs‘ that are basically impossible, you started to focus on the best-case scenario?

All INFJs are guilty of getting on a plane and running through every scenario. The plane crashing, turbulence, a passenger being crazy… within 5 minutes, we can imagine every possible way that something could go wrong.

However, just the slightest change in your mindset can change your prophetic nightmare scenarios into daydreams with a purpose.

Rather than worrying about the plane going down, picture a pleasant flight. The in-flight movie is one of your favorites that you haven’t seen in a while. You meet the kindest old lady seated next to you that gives you some insider sight-seeing tips for your destination. The view is incredible, you arrive safely and have the most wonderful trip.

After reading that, I’m sure you’re mildly skeptical or worried that I’m telling you to police your every thought.

I’m not.

I’m saying to use your beautifully obsessive INFJ brain to exude possibility and excitement for the thoughts that matter.

Self Worth

I personally think that the Law of Attraction it the easiest way to regain and maintain self worth as an INFJ…. and self worth is the easiest way to manifest with the Law of Attraction.

It’s so easy to feel small or beat down as an INFJ.

Not only do you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, most of your friends and family don’t really ‘get you‘. As much as they may love you, they’ll never understand the crazy shit that goes on in your brain.

The Law of Attraction gives you power by letting you know that you are understood. By knowing and practicing the Law of Attraction, the entire Universe sings your song. No matter how ‘out of place‘ you may feel, you are understood without even having to say a word.

One of the ways you manifest with the Law of Attraction is by meditation and mantras of self worth. By saying things like: I am worth it. I am deserving. I am a good person. I am beautiful.

INFJs are giving, sharing people pleasers.

Self love, self care and self worship almost always fall backseat to basically everything in our lives.

The Law of Attraction has you set time aside each day to thank yourself. Thank yourself for your hard work and compassion, your successes and failures, your physical attributes and your mental capacity.

Rather than shame ourselves for the little things that make us ‘different’ or ‘weird’, embrace them. Wear that weirdness like a badge of honor. Let that light inside of you shine bright and unabashedly.

When you take a little time to appreciate yourself and how original you are, you’d be shocked and how quickly you begin to feel uplifted and empowered… and therefore more capable of manifesting!

Morals & Values

The basic principal of the Law of Attraction is ‘Like attracts like’.

So, being kind will attract more kindness into your life. Being giving will attract more generous people into your life.

Chances are, most INFJs probably already live life this way. Not to be saints or heroes, but just because morals & values shape a majority of our actions and thoughts.

However, it’s the awareness that is what will ultimately change your outlook and experiences.

INFJs are natural people magnets. People are drawn to INFJs like flies to honey. Unfortunately, sometimes that means some people drawn to you may be toxic.

By using the Law of Attraction, you will find that you will encounter more pleasant relationships and experiences with other people.

Since using the Law of Attraction in my own life, I’ve found that all of the toxic, negative people in my life have just slowly exited my daily world. Check out why I feel like it’s so important to break free from the toxic person in your life (especially if you’re an INFJ).

I come across friendly, loving people everywhere I go. I frequently run into situations where people are ‘paying it forward‘ and helping out without a motive. I have been blessed by withnessing countless acts of good will and selfless love every day.

Yeah, I still encounter some pricks in my day-to-day life, but I have noticed a drastic decrease in how often I meet them and how much they really affect me.

And ask an INFJ, all I want is to believe in humanity and the Law of Attraction has done that.


I think what hooked me to the Law of Attraction is that it is founded in logic.

At first, it feels like trying to believe in Santa Clause all over again.

Unwavering belief in thoughts of abundance and optimism just seems like you’re an irrational mess, but it’s actually very logical.

The way ‘The Secret’ explains it is that the Universe is controlled by certain Laws.

The Law of Gravity is the perfect example. It doesn’t matter if you are aware of the Law of Gravity…. or if you believe in it. It is always in affect and there are no exceptions.

If you jump from a tall building, it doesn’t matter if you’re a good person or a bad person…. you’re going to hit the ground.

Whether or not you understand the Law of Attraction, it is always in affect and there are no exceptions.

I found it pretty easy to test the validity of the Law of Attraction. If I was in a crappy mood and feeling negative, sure enough…. bad stuff would happen and I’d come across rotten people.

Most people would say ‘When it rains, it pours‘ when they’re having a day like that…

But guess what? It can also be true for the positive sense. When you have a good day, it can easily become the best day of your life.

Not only is it generally logical and easy to process, the Law of Attraction can be practiced alongside any religion. It is actually very closely mirrored in many ancient religions. In just about any book or video you’ll find about the Law of Attraction, you’ll find multiple references to all kinds of religions.

I think that furthers my trust in the Law of Attraction. Any concept that is mirrored in so many religions has to have some merit. For something to be found in Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism etc… It must be a universally accepted concept.

The INFJ Church Door Slam

I’ve come to learn that a lot of INFJs have door slammed their churches. I am one of those people.

My parents had horrible experiences with religion as children, so Church wasn’t ever in my world as a kid. When I was 13, I started going to church with a friend of mine.

Shortly after learning that my family had money, my pastor told me that I was going to hell if I only gave 10% of my own money to the church. He said that my parents should be giving 10% of their money for me to attend the church…. even though they didn’t attend.

Being an INFJ, that cut me down to my soul. Feeling of inadequacy, the hypocrisy, the injustice. That one comment planted a seed of mistrust for the church.

I continued to go to church, hide in the back of the room and try to act like I belonged there. The more I observed, the more I realized that I didn’t belong there at all.

I saw cheating husbands stand and shout ‘amen‘ at a sermon about fidelity.

I listened as ‘God-fearing women‘ idly gossip about so-and-so’s botched boob job or their disdain for one of the other church members.

I witnessed people that were as ill-spirited as Satan himself…. claim to be ‘Devout Christians’. As if their attendance at church would counter-weigh their sins and bad deeds.

I begin resenting church. I hated sitting among hypocrites. I hated the fakeness. I was annoyed that they fear tactics like the Devil and hell to scare people into living a good life… rather than saying ‘live a good life because it’s the right thing to do‘.

Church actually turned me into a negative, pessimistic person. Isn’t that the opposite of what church is supposed to do? Isn’t it supposed to lift you up and feel surrounded by loving friends?

I left the church and didn’t look back.

Now, this is just my own experience, so please don’t let my opinions cloud yours or shake your faith in your church. I’m just explaining why I door slammed the church myself and how the Law of Attraction convinced me to open that door back up.

After learning about the Law of Attraction and really studying it, I decided to start looking for a new church. Probably not a typical Church that most people attend, but rather a ‘New Thought’ type of church.

However, I just felt it was important to mention that the Law of Attraction has given me a newfound sense of optimism that I can find a church where I do belong. Where I can trust the person beside me and how the people around me really behave in their daily lives.

World Views

Call me a hippie or a pipe dreamer, but I honestly just want world peace.

I want a world where there is no suffering, no hunger, no lack. I want a place where every pet has a home and every child is loved.

I have yet to find a philosophy, religion, or daily practice that allows you to feel like the world can be a happy place.

From a young age, we’re taught about lack and scarcity. It becomes our honest belief that the entire world will always be miserable and insufferable.

The Law of Attraction says that there is more than enough to go around. The world is an abundant, beautiful place. We just need to realize that it is.

Not everyone wants the same car, the same type of food, the same partner. Because we all have different wants and needs, there is enough to go around.

I think that as an INFJ, some part of us just needs to know that there’s a chance for the world. We’re not all doomed to fire and brimstone, the sky isn’t falling and we can experience true happiness.

The more I learn about and practice the Law of Attraction, the more my views of the world improve. I see it as a beautiful place that allows all of us to sustain life and improve every day!


As an INFJ, I ooze empathy from every pore on my body.

Hell, I was a vegetarian for 15 years because I felt bad for the animals. My empathy spans people, pets…. stuffed animals and pet rocks…

You can feel the pain from watching someone stub their toe or go through a gnarly divorce.

However, a lot of people forget that empathy isn’t always a bad thing!

Not only do we take on other people’s sorrow and pain…. we also experience people’s joy, excitement, wonder and happiness.

When I watch ‘The Secret’, I get excited and energized listening to the speakers talk about their amazing experiences manifesting with the Law of Attraction.

When I watch Aaron Doughty’s YouTube videos, I get excited about life and all of the amazing stuff I have yet to discover.

Our empathy gives us the power to multiply other people’s positivity. It lets us be natural happiness sponges. Using other people’s joy to make you feel joy…. and my favorite way of doing this is by laughing.

I’ve become almost obsessed with laughter since learning about the Law of Attraction.

I am drawn to people who laugh a lot, laugh loud, laugh funny…. I just enjoy laughter. It is literally a sound of joy that can immediately change the mood of anyone around them.

Now that you know you can use your empathy to make yourself happier, I have a challenge. Set up a lunch, coffee date, drink or whatever with a happy person you enjoy being around. After you’re around them for an hour, check in with your brain and body.

How do you feel?

I can guarantee that your body and mind will both be more relaxed, calm, and happy.

Our deep empathy doesn’t have to be a ‘weakness’…. it can be our greatest superpower!


Something I’ve learned since befriending a bunch of INFJs: we suck at relationships.

We’re just sorta moody, aloof, awkward, weird…. we’re loving but in the weirdest ways.

God bless the spouse that can decode our shows of affection and deal with our INFJisms.

We want someone to share every waking moment of our life with, but we also want to spend a good chunk of our time alone….

We’re just t-total messes.

But, that doesn’t mean we can’t have loving, blessed, healthy relationships.

A little over a year ago, me and Hunter were struggling. We were always in foul moods, we were miserable and sick all the time, we sucked at communicating and we basically sorta disconnected.

I truly credit our current bliss to the Law of Attraction…. and learning about myself. Not only do I understand how to express my emotions better, but we adopted gratitude as the main focus of our relationship.

I’m grateful he works his ass off, he’s grateful that I clean house. I’m grateful that he checks the oil in my truck, he’s grateful that I pack his lunch.

We literally live in a continual circle of ‘thank you‘…. ‘no… thank you‘.

It sounds cheesy, but when was the last time you thanked your partner for everything they did for you?

What do you notice when someone thanks you for something you did? You want to do more for them, right? You feel accomplished. You feel noticed.

Just by practicing gratitude, we’ve fallen back in love even more deeply than the day we first said ‘I love you’.

I know, it’s so sticky sweet that I think I just got a cavity writing about it…. but it’s incredibly simple and truly life-changing.

Healthy Friendships

I’ve also started to practice gratitude with friends and family, whether they understand the Law of Attraction or not.

I focus on the things that I love about my friends and family.

I love my mom’s sense of humor. My God mother’s eccentric ways make me feel at home. My dad is incredibly talented and insanely hard working. My best friend, Sarah, understands my weirdness like no one else in my life ever has.

The more I focus on how amazing they are, the more excited I am to talk to them, be around them and the more joy I feel when I finally see them.

Relationships are beyond important to INFJs. People just freaking matter to us, but as introverts, we’re social messes. Practicing gratitude has helped me enjoy myself more in social situations and keep my battery from being drained.

I could go on…..

Seriously, I could continue listing INFJ traits and why they are perfect for living a beautiful, abundant life with the Law of Attraction…. but I wont (actually, I might, but that’s for another day).

As an INFJ, we have so many wonderful, confusing characteristics that make us unique.

We’re less than 2% of the population, so most of us have come to see those characteristics as a burden. They’ve made us feel alone, sad, alien-like.

True success for the INFJ personality type means believing in yourself.

However, the same traits that make you an INFJ can lead you to a life of absolute bliss, self love and happiness.

INFJ friends: What’s your favorite INFJ-ism? What’s your favorite thing about being an INFJ?

Share us with your friends and add us to your feeds!

I'm an INFJ- so I'm a walking contradiction with ADD and a heart the size of Texas. I live my life by the Law of Attraction and I love helping other people find inner peace.


  • Crystal

    Wow! Thank you for this. This is so beautifully written and has really helped me peek into some of my own actions. I am going to dig deeper Into the law of attraction. Wonderful article!

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Thank you so much, Crystal! That means the world to me. It’s wild how often we go on autopilot and forget that our thoughts actually matter. You’re going to love learning about the Law of Attraction. It has been an absolute blessing to my life!

  • Dayma

    I love how well put this whole explanation was! I’m an infj too & when I first started looking into it I went CRAZY, but the good kind, finally being able to understand why I was the way I was. I love everything you talked about in this post!

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Right? It’s so amazing to read things from other INFJs and be like ‘oh my god! Me too!’. I can finally relate, I finally feel understood. Thanks for reading, doll! Glad you enjoyed it! It was one of my favorites to write!

  • Donna

    Bravo!! I have recently found your blog through Pinterest, and have spent the morning reading several entries. Love it!
    I am old enough to be your mother. I am, too, an INFJ, and a fan of “The Secret” in book form. I usually read it every year since it came out. But I am past due!!!

    I just wanted to write to you because sometimes blogging can feel lonely (I’ve tried it). . .and you may think no one hears you, or a single criticism can crawl you into a cave, so I wanted to express how good you are as a writer and an inspiration.

    I have recently forgotten so much that is important to me, regarding INFJism and the Law of Attraction. You made me remember.

    I love your honesty. . .all the toxic person in your life stuff. . .and all the religious door slam stuff. We are very similiar. But you seem to have all that millennial self confidence. Good for you.

    I look forward to reading more from you and using you and your suggested resources as an inspiration. Thank you.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Donna, I am so glad that you stumbled across my blog!

      That’s so stinking sweet of you to say…. it made my DAY to hear your words of encouragement!

      I love love LOVE helping people find their way to the Law of Attraction.

      I feel like it is so empowering and unique. I think it really is a life changing thing, especially for an INFJ.

      I appreciate your support and love. I’m gonna keep writing from deep down in my soul and I’m so glad to have you along the ride with me!

  • Amanda

    Thank you for writing this! I laughed and almost cried while reading this. I am in awe at how “on-point” you are at explaining the INFJ. I can relate to every INFJ-ism you touched on. I have some work to do in implementing manifestation along with embracing the INFJ that I am. Lately, I have been in that “dark” place that seems to be the flipside of the INFJ personality. Struggling with the “what is my purpose” questions, and also issues in my marriage. I really love your positivity…your happiness and joy really shines through. I googled “INFJ manifestation” and really glad I came across your post. Thanks again! Take care.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      Thank you so much for reading! This was one of my favorite posts to write because I feel like as INFJs we have so many hidden talents and manifestation is definitely one of those talents. But we second guess and doubt ourselves, so the manifestation falls to the wayside and we live our lives as though it is already charted out for us.

      But as feelers, we exude SO much energy out into the world. Hence why people are drawn to us and seem to naturally trust us without knowing a damn thing about us.

      I know the feeling of the dark side of the INFJ brain. It’s incredible how hurtful we allow ourselves to be to ourselves… while we have all the patience and empathy in the WORLD for other people.

      I know it’s hard, but cut yourself some slack. Look at the good in your life and think ‘wow! I really DO deserve happiness and abundance.’ Dwell on THAT… not the icky stuff that our brains like to storm up to make us worry and stay up at night.

      Your purpose in life will appear, your marriage will begin to right itself. It just takes time and it requires you loving yourself for who you are and telling the world to shut the F&*% up and stop telling you to change.

      Thanks again for reading. I’m posting a new INFJ post soon that I think you’ll enjoy!

      • Amanda

        {Tears} Thank you for this comment…you’ve said the words that I needed to hear (or read) right now…wow! I look forward to the new post! 🙂

  • Melissa

    WOW!!! I am new to knowing that I am an INFJ and you’re right, now that I know, it’s become an obsession. I am in a dark place as a 40 year old mom whose only child is now gone. HE has been my passion and purpose in life since I was 17 years old and while I’ve known for awhile that I was for sure an empath, knowing what I now know about being an INFJ (I’m an A and a T) I totally get why I now feel like my life is “over”. I have been studying the LOA for a few years, but nothing has ever clicked. I’ve always blamed my 100 mile an hour brain on that. As you know, focusing is not something that comes natural to us. I thank you for your blog, this post, your vulnerability and heart. Other INFJ’s are out here and we see you <3 – and as in my case, you just never know when your words can help someone climb out of a very dark place. I wish you the BEST.

    • BarbedWireandLace

      My heart hurts for you and your situation. I hope the darkness starts to fade away and you finally get some sunshine in your world.

      The LOA is way harder for INFJs cause our brains are so busy… but it’s a beautiful thing if you can force yourself to concentrate and focus on. It takes a LOOOOOT of practice and you’ll need patience (as you know, we’re not so great at having patience with ourselves).

      I am so glad that you came across my blog and found it helpful. I enjoy sharing things like this because I feel like I was such a lonely, sad person for so long. Now that I’ve found other INFJs, I am so much more at peace with myself.

      Hoping for happiness, health and light in your life, Melissa!

  • Philippa

    You are the bomb. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone on the planet in my idealism and love and dislike for humanity. I was going to make this short, and stop after the first sentence, but what the heck, impossible for Infj, either post all or don’t post even one word. Been trying to work with loa and being Infj, and although their have been many exceptionally favorable moments, and I have found generally my moodiness to have abated, especially with those close to me, like my kid. Life has been more enjoyable even though my finances are like a racing car, over a cliff. Everything has seemed to go really bad lately, despite doing everything to maintain good emotions and hand over, what is out of my control, to the universe. Easy for Infj perfectionist, control freak, ha ha. What has been interesting with loa, is training myself to ask for what I want, or ask for anything from the universe. It was possibly the toughest learning to decipher what exactly I want, since other than world peace and harmony, I had never given my needs desires much consideration, since I automatically left my needs outside the door, to ensue everyone else’s needs/wants, are/were intuitively, met.

    Much love and thanks for you being on the planet, and taking the time to write.
    Regards Philippa

    • BarbedWireandLace


      Your comment just made my DAY! Thank you so much!

      It’s hard being an INFJ and keeping a solid head.

      It’s so easy to get caught off track and start developing the ugly traits of an INFJ… like it’s a daily struggle for me. Not sure if you have such a hard time yourself, but it can really be draining for me.

      I catch myself in worried thoughts, what-if scenarios, paranoia, just general anxiety and fear.

      However, through LOTS… and I mean LOTS of work, I’ve been able to slowly shift my mind from the bad ‘what ifs’ to the good ‘what ifs… what IF I won the lottery? What IF I got that car I’ve always wanted?

      It feels like pipe dreaming at first because we are so skeptical and hesitant at times… it feels like you’re lying to yourself.

      But the more you let yourself dwell in the light of the good ‘what ifs’, things start to change.

      It’s hard because it can’t just be your surface brain that is happy and at-ease with things, you must deeply, truly believe that you are at a good place mentally and that your energy is at peace. It’s hard, it takes a long time and a lot of patience… but it’s worth it in the end. It really sounds like you’re on the right track though. I love your energy.

      Thanks for being on the planet and taking the time to leave me a comment. I appreciate it and I am so grateful you found my words!

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