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As you grow up, you learn your beliefs from the people who are around you. Friends, family and the news teach you how to feel about everything from a young age. You learn how to feel about money, people and life in general. However, I’ve come to learn that those beliefs aren’t necessarily true and some times you have to let go of them… and some times you have to let go of the people with limiting beliefs.
This whole post is inspired by my dear friend, Gina who created Limit Breaker. Her entire focus is breaking the limits for introverts and introverted entrepreneurs. Something that was absolutely foreign in my mind until I met her. Her content is truly life changing and I suggest you go check it out!
So, thank you Gina for all you’ve done for my business as well as all you have done for me personally. I’d still be really damm limited if I hadn’t met you.
What Is A Limiting Belief?
A limiting belief is a thought that has you ‘tied up‘ in a way.
It’s a belief that something is always the way it is and there’s no way to change it…. and these limiting beliefs are holding your life power back from its full potential.
These beliefs are so deeply ingrained in your mind because they’ve been hammered into your mind (sometimes your whole life).
You can have limiting beliefs about relationships, friendships, success, and ‘how life should be’.
You can even have limiting beliefs about your own abilities, permissions and rights.
Limiting beliefs hold you back because they keep you in your own bubble of understanding.
“I don’t deserve happiness.”
“I can’t ever make it in life without a college degree.”
“I must clean my house every day or people will think I’m a slob.”
“Other people will try to rob you of your happiness whenever they can.”
These are all limiting beliefs because they hold your emotions deeply to a concept that may or may not be reality.
Whether the limiting beliefs are self-limiting or about other people, they hurt us all the same.
“The Way Life Oughta Be”
I’m not sure who was in charge of determining the ‘order’ of life, but they can suck it.
- Be born.
- Go to school & grow up.
- Graduate high school.
- Graduate college.
- Graduate grad school.
- Get a 9-5 job.
- Get married.
- Buy a house.
- Have kids.
- Grow old.
Sorry if I left anything out because writing that list pissed me off.
Because if that’s what’s ‘the right way to do life’…. I did it all wrong….
I dropped out of college, bought a house, started a business, started dating the man of my dreams, bought a second house and moved in with my boyfriend… and 4 years later we’re still happily unmarried with no kids.
We constantly have people asking us “When are ya’ll gonna get married?”… “When are y’all gonna have kids?’…..”Have either of y’all thought about going back to school?”
It’s like we didn’t do it ‘all in the right order’ or we skipped over some things… so people think we ‘messed up’ in life….
But we are perfectly happy with the life we have created together and all the steps we made (or skipped) that got us to this point!
So if you’re living life feeling like there’s a certain order of doing things… and if you don’t do it that way, you’re wrong.
You need to drop that thought.
Sure, there is some necessity to the order of life. You can’t go to college before you’re born, …. but if you’re told you can’t open a business just because you didn’t go to college, prove that person wrong and do you.
Some of the most successful, happy people in this world did things out of order.
Create your own order and stop believing the limiting belief that you are required to live life according to everyone else’ schedule.
Limiting Beliefs About The World
I dunno about y’all, but I used to have the most negative beliefs about the world and humanity.
People are bad, the planet is dying, humanity is at the brink of total collapse and all of our resources are running out.
Granted, a lot of that was because I used to be a news addict.
I was deeply consumed by politics and wouldn’t go 2 hours without checking some sort of news outlet. So, clearly, my beliefs were not that of my own, they were the news’ beliefs.
However, I was raised with a similar beliefs about the world, so the beliefs that the media was pushing fit in with my already-formed beliefs. Therefore validating my deep belief that the world was just doomed.
But once I shut off the news and did a bit of soul searching, I came to realize that I did not believe my own beliefs.
People aren’t bad.
People are innately good, but in their own ways. Sure, there are legitimately awful people in the world, but I’m talking about people in general.
There is a massive awakening happening right now due to the availability of information and the ability to share beliefs through the internet.
Huge things are happening and humanity is changing at a rapid speed.
While the media and our pessimistic social media friends may want you to think things are changing for the worse, humanity is on a massive upswing and is experiencing positive changes every day.
How many times do you log on social media and see an uplifting video? A cat or dog being rescued and living a beautiful life? A police officer giving a homeless man his shoes? A disabled child finally getting to walk again? All. The. Time.
Good things are happening!
While some people are panicking about resources being depleted, new resources are found and developed every day. Awareness for humanitarian issues is at an all-time-high!
More people are traveling the world to help impoverished areas than ever before. Bringing water, food and other necessities to places that they would have never imagined that kind of improvement to their life.
So if you have a limiting belief that the world is an awful place and we’re all just destined to blow each other up, feel free to let that go!
Figure out what your true belief about the world is- don’t let the media, Facebook or your family tell you how to believe.
Limiting Beliefs About Money
My entire life, I was told that money was hard to come by. You had to break your back working a miserable job. Even then, money was always an arms length away.
Even if you were to get your hands on a little chunk of money, someone is always out there waiting to take it from you. The government, greedy accountants, lawsuits, scammers, banks…. you name it. Any money you earn is only temporarily yours.
So I grew up thinking that money was this daunting, terrifying thing that I would never see very much of…. but that wasn’t reality.
That wasn’t the truth.
I was believing someone elses’ beliefs due to their experiences with money.
If I had learned my beliefs from Jack Canfield (the author of Chicken Soup For The Soul), I would have a very different belief about money.
I would believe that money comes often and freely when you are pursuing your dreams. Money is just a return of the energy and passion you put out into the world when you truly believe that you deserve it.
My limiting belief that money was this illusive monster I would chase my whole life really kept me in a place of poverty. Both financially and mentally.
I believed that there was no way to get financial freedom and money would always feel like this monkey clung to my back.
But money isn’t everything.
It shouldn’t be scary or feel unattainable… because it’s not! There are kids out there making millions of dollars making YouTube videos. There are writers with no degree writing Best Selling books!
Money is attainable and within reach for anyone willing to chase their passion and believe that they truly deserve success.
So if you believe that your access to money is limited for one reason or another, check your gut to see if you really believe it or if you’re holding on to someone else’ belief.
Limiting Beliefs About Friendships & Relationships
We all have familial beliefs about relationships because we observed the way relationships work from a very young age.
Whether you came from a family that was separated by divorce, one where domestic violence was an issue or you came from a fairly peaceful and ‘normal’ family, you have beliefs about what relationships are like.
You may believe screaming at each other is normal. You might believe that the occasional grab is okay. You might believe that anyone who raises their voice is abusive.
Whatever your belief is, just know that is formed by your experiences and other people’s beliefs…. and it’s not concrete.
I have a friend who was raised by her father. Her parents divorced when she was 3 and she had very few memories of them being together.
Her father constantly told her “never get married- it always ends in heartbreak” and “the only good thing from our marriage was you”.
She grew up avoiding relationships at all costs.
In middle school, a boy asked her to a dance and she got so upset that she checked out of school early to go home.
Once she was in her 20’s, her dad began to wonder why she was still single and only had 3 or 4 friends.
She carried a deep, deep limiting belief that relationships were bad and she should avoid them so she wouldn’t get her heart broken.
She even carried that belief into friendships. If someone hurt her in the slightest way, she would cut ties.
So she spent a good chunk of her life in loneliness because she carried her father’s limiting belief into her own life.
That limiting belief wasn’t her burden to bear, but she learned it and she lived by it.
What are your beliefs about relationships? Do you think that you have a soulmate out there? Do you think that you will marry your best friend? Do you think your friends should treat you with kindness and respect?
Figuring out your beliefs about relationships will help you decide how you want people to treat you. You’ll begin building boundaries that protect your heart and still allow you to have wonderful people in your circle.
So make sure you’re in check with your beliefs about relationships.
Limiting Beliefs About Success
I’ll be brief on this topic because I covered some of it when I talked about money, but success is something that so many people have limiting beliefs about.
My family is full of entrepreneurs. Almost everyone in my family has been an entrepreneur at some point in their life.
It was beat into my mind at an early age that I have to go to college for the world to ‘take me seriously.’
I was told that I had to go to business school if I wanted to amount to anything.
So, I went.
But once I got to college, I felt lost. Terribly lost. 0% of me actually felt like I was on the right path.
I tried taking classes that were more ‘up my alley’ like psychology, philosophy and some creative writing classes. But it all felt empty and pointless.
Even the most interesting topic couldn’t grab my attention long enough to make the grades.
So I made the hard decision to dropped out of college.
It was a devastating to my family because they thought that if I didn’t finish college, I had no chance at any type of meaningful future.
But, I paid my dues. I went to ‘Life College’ as my dad calls it. I learned things the hard way: by doing it.
Eventually, most of my family forgave me for leaving college. They began to hear Rush and other people say that college isn’t all what it’s hyped up to be and that you can be successful without it.
10 years later, I’m finally doing what I love and am passionate about.
Am I a millionaire? No. But I would 100% call this success.
Success is what you believe it is.
It’s either a concrete road you drive down and stop at every intersection…. or it’s a wild hiking adventure where you don’t know what your final destination is.
You decide what success is. Don’t let others define it for you.
Limiting Beliefs About You
What are your beliefs about you?
Do you think you’re really talented at something? Do you think you’re compassionate and loving? Do you think that you are a giving person? Do you think that you are a good parent or friend?
A lot of us have been raised with negative or even toxic people in our worlds that have muddied our own opinion of ourselves.
We begin to truly believe the things that other people tell us about ourselves.
So if someone says you’re fat, do you truly believe it about yourself?
You might… but you’d be wrong regardless.
You have fat. You are not fat. You have fingernails. You are not fingernails. Get it?
Also, you may have fat, but you also have the ability to have less fat if you want.
Don’t let anyone put a belief into your mind that says you are anything you’re not.
Say you are a fantastic painter. Like truly one-of-a-kind type of artist. But others question your ability to make money painting and they say ‘yeah they’re nice, but you’re not a professional artist’… do you let that get in the way of your painting and your passion?
Check that within yourself.
Are you in touch with your honest-to-God beliefs about yourself?
List all of your qualities and beliefs about yourself and hold those higher than anyone else’ beliefs of you.
Limiting People Need Not Apply
It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that not everyone deserves access to my energy.
It’s an odd thing because it’s sorta spiritual and most people don’t want to talk about ‘energy’.
But it’s a way of saying ‘not everyone deserves unlimited access to me and my emotions’.
There will be people in your life who say ‘you can’t’ or ‘you will never’…. or the worst ‘you don’t deserve….’. And those people don’t deserve access to your energy.
You deserve to take that list of your own beliefs and your abilities, talents, qualities and hold it high above everything else.
I’m not saying to become some ego-maniac that thinks everyone’s opinion is garbage. And I’m not saying that you have to cut out any person who is a Negative Nancy.
I’m just saying to stay firm in your beliefs and protect them.
If you truly believe that you will be a famous author one day, don’t let the nay-sayers jump in between you and your dream.
If you believe that you deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship, don’t let anyone trick you into believing that you deserve less.
So, let those peoples’ words roll right off your back. Because if they’re saying something against your beliefs, then they must not truly know you and what you’re capable of.
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Behind The Barbed Wire, you’ll find a Limiting Belief Worksheet that will help you break down all of your beliefs and break free from anything limiting you!